Don't Judge Their Journey
In this day and age where most people are sharing almost every aspect of their lives, we can feel like we really know people. These might be people we've actually never met or had a real conversation with but we "know them." Ya know?
I have struggled with this because it is so easy to judge others success compared to our own without actually taking into account the amount of time or work they have put in. This could be for anything...lifestyle, body, job, marriage, travel...all of it. It is so easy to compare and instantly judge them or ourselves without any context.
But what is the purpose in that? And what do those thoughts actually say about us?
I tend to think of judgement and comparison as a mirror of what we are most insecure about.
Judging her body or her life? What are you unhappy with in regards to your own body or life? This can be challenging to flip on yourself, but could shine a truer light on maybe things you need to address. These don't have to all be looked as bad either! Sometimes if I see someone traveling the world and I get jealous I ask myself why...and realize I could really use a good trip! It's not about her but me craving the ability to travel like that as well. So what can I do to get a trip on the books? How can I adjust my lifestyle so I am able to travel more frequently? Use those opportunities to be open to seeing what you might be craving out of life.
Now I want to stop you before you start envying her body and assume I am saying you should diet until you look like her too. Ugh. No. So often, we see other women and see that they are thin, or really fit and say to ourselves "if only I looked like her I would be happier". But I want you to stop right there. Why do you think that? Do you know that she is actually happier than you or are you just assuming that? What makes you think her weight has anything to do with her happiness?
So often you don't get to see the behind the scenes of what you are comparing yourself too. You don't see the hours of work put in, the sacrifices made, the hard decisions, the things they gave up, the struggles they aren't sharing...we know none of this. Yet we are quick to compare. Quick to judge their highlight reel or lifestyle by our own measure or standard. And all that does is create a breakdown of reality. So often, so much of what is shared isn't real. It's highlights. The best of the best, edited to look even better! And there isn't anything wrong with that. Where fault comes in, is choosing to not see beyond the photo and to take it as face value! So often people will even write really vulnerable captions to go with a beautiful picture, but how often do we take the time to read those? We see the picture, assume life is perfect and move on.
When you judge someone (and we are all judgemental beings even if we don't like to think of ourselves that way) you are not only hurting yourself and your perspectives on people but also the people you choose to judge. You don't know them. You don't know what they may be struggling with and putting on a happy face anyway. The up and down diets, the fights with their spouse, the missed events for the travel...and yet our instinct is to judge. But this instinct comes from an insecurity in ourselves. People who are confident and secure in themselves, their lives and their bodies...don't judge and shame others. When you are happy with your life, you want to encourage others to find the same...not the other way around!
As someone who is on their own wellness/lifestyle/career journey and helping other women on theirs, it is so important to remember that we are all in different stages and chasing unique destinations. That we can cheer each other on, celebrate each others wins and STILL be kicking butt on our own things! Success is not a one size fits all, one road journey. It is for you to determine what that looks like for YOU! Don't take someone else's life and just say yup...want that. And don't assume your lifestyle is superior and assume everyone else should be the same. Demand more for yourself, realize that you are unique and therefore deserving of a unique life. Learn to cheer on those around you who are bravely seeking out their dreams too! As you build up those around you it will be almost impossible for you to not grow and flourish yourself.
We are all unique, which means that my healthy lifestyle will look different from your healthy lifestyle. My fitness routine will look different from your fitness routine. My flexibility of schedule will look different than yours...and so on...haha you get it. But remember that you need to decide what is best for you. Not best for everyone around you, judging or shaming them to do the same, just whats best for you! It is more inspiring to see someone authentically living their life, being vulnerable and through that inspiring others to do the same. We get a lot more change from people through encouragement and hope than we ever will shaming and judging.
Live YOUR best life. Do what makes you feel whole and happiest!. But do not decide for yourself if thats what others should be doing. Do not shame them, judge them or use them as a measuring stick for your own life. Stay in your lane, focus on you.
Believe you were uniquly created and therefore following someone else will only leave you not fulfilling all you were truly meant to be. Choose to use whatever platform you are on as a means to encourage, inspire and empower. What a beautiful thing it would be if we stopped taking our own insecurity out on others and instead choose to build up each and every soul we came into contact with. Today choose to build up one or two people around you and see how they light up and see how it encourages you!